Often the “discovery” of the ideal girl takes place in the Hammam by the mothers. Once the young girl has been well examined and chosen, the young man to marry, helped by his mother, does his research on the young girl, questioning the neighborhood and relatives.
When the young man agrees with his mother, she calls on an intermediary, a matchmaker, to take the first step, in order to find out if the parents of the young girl are in agreement.
The Matchmaker is generally an old lady who enjoys a good reputation and who favors the great Algerian families. An indispensable consultant and hostess, the inhabitants of the Casbah call on her to organize weddings or when planning a large ceremony with many guests, many of whom are of high social standing. She is solicited for all kinds of procedures. The charm of his words is famous.
When the talks between the mother of the young man and that of the young woman to be married are conclusive, the women notify their husbands. The young man’s father then invites the girl’s father over for coffee to make his request and agree on a reception day.
Steps :
El khoutba – The marriage proposal: it ends with the mutual consent of the two families.
Kti ’ech-chart – Fixing of the marital dowry: fixing of the religious, moral, material and above all financial conditions constituting essdak, the marital dowry.
El arboun – the deposit: an advance of money or a valuable piece of jewelry is offered to the young bride on the general conditions of the dowry to validate the promise of marriage.
El mawassim – customar – between el khoutba and Dfoû ’, customary presents are made to the future bride on the occasion of religious festivals.
Dfoû ’- complete delivery of the marital dowry: after el khoutba, essdak and el arboun comes Dfoû’ (complete delivery of the marital dowry).
The event is celebrated with the parents of the young bride, after the prayer of el assr, where they receive the family of the groom accompanied by the cadi and a clerk (adel) to establish the marriage contract.
Once the men are together, the cadi develops long explanations about marriage. After inquiring about the marital status of the young man and the young girl, he will officially declare the marriage concluded. The registrar will write the deed on the spot directly in the marriage register he brought with him. You should know that the cadi and the clerk only travel for people of high rank, for relatives or friends, otherwise the marriage is usually done in court.
“Tbaq el dfou” – the dowry basket:
The full delivery of the marital dowry is made the same day in a large basket called “tbaq el dfou”. A basket wrapped in white satin fabric, adorned with silk ribbon and lace is presented to the bride. The matchmaker shows off all the gifts, commenting on them in very evocative words.
It contains a haik m’ramma, an a’djar (veil), a velvet caftan embroidered with gold thread, a pink fabric coupon, two pairs of shoes (one inside and one out), a scarf of silk, a mirror, make-up, a toiletry set, two large pink candles, half a dozen eggs whose shell has received a thin layer of gilding, henna, a loaf of sugar as well as a louis d ‘gold. A chest, containing a velvet purse containing “sdaq”, the money agreed between the two fathers, is presented to the mother of the bride.
The henna of the dfoû ’- The henna of the dowry:
After the marriage contract, relatives of the two families get together for dinner (men and women separated). In addition to “tbaq el dfou ‘”, the young man’s family brings back a basket containing the necessary for the installation of henna: powder, accessories for the operation and small gifts including a jewel to seal the acceptance of the request in marriage.
After the meal, the women prepare a space for the henna ceremony. This ceremony is sometimes referred to as “little henna” because it is different from the one that takes place near the wedding which is called “the henna of the bride.”
The relatives of the bride have two cushions embroidered with gold one on top of the other and bring together the accessories necessary for the operation: henna, mirror, eggs, small squares of silk fabric, candles … Once everything is in. Place, the matchmaker as well as two young ladies-in-waiting (recently married) each carrying a candle, go to look for the young bride, nicely dressed. The matchmaker covers her face entirely with a large silk scarf and seats her delicately on the cushions, facing the women. Children holding candles and a mirror above his head surround him.
The groom’s grandmother is responsible for taking the henna break for the “baraka”. Throughout the operation, she sings the traditional taqdam (traditional song), while the women express their gaiety and joy by ululating.
They sometimes happen, for various reasons, that the phases of the marriage proposal are grouped together. For example, when the families know each other and are already in agreement, the marriage proposal takes place, between men, at the mosque in the presence of notables, relatives and a few friends from both parties. Often at the request of both families, the Cadi and his clerks go to the mosque to register the marriage after the mufti has presided over the religious ceremony.
Source : Translated from https://babzman.com/le-mariage-traditionnel-dans-el-qacba-zeman-partie-i-el-khoutba-les-etapes-de-la-demande-en-mariage/
To be continued tomorrow…..
