{"id":91948,"date":"2023-10-22T14:13:05","date_gmt":"2023-10-22T13:13:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jazairhope.org\/?p=91948"},"modified":"2023-10-23T00:16:09","modified_gmt":"2023-10-22T23:16:09","slug":"momone-et-le-fruit-interdit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jazairhope.org\/fr\/momone-et-le-fruit-interdit\/","title":{"rendered":"Mom\u00f4ne et le fruit interdit !"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>lesoirdalgerie.com<\/p>\n<p>Par Hakim Laalam<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Q<span style=\"font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px;\">uand<\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px;\"> l\u2019Ukraine des r\u00e9giments nazis Azov frappe la Russie, c\u2019est de la r\u00e9sistance. Quand le Hamas combat Isra\u00ebl, c\u2019est du\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px;\"><em><strong>\u2026 terrorisme !<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px;\">Ben oui qu\u2019elle est folle ! Forc\u00e9ment qu\u2019elle est folle \u00e0 lier ma femme \u00e0 me rattraper ainsi sur le palier et \u00e0 claironner \u00abOmri ! N\u2019oublie pas les grenades !\u00bb Y\u2019avait personne sur ce foutu palier du 4e \u00e9tage que nous partageons avec deux autres locataires. Mais je les connais, moi, les \u00abdjiran\u00bb ! J\u2019ai clairement entendu leurs murmures derri\u00e8re leurs portes blind\u00e9es. Ils ont s\u00fbrement\u2026 percut\u00e9 au mot \u00abgrenades\u00bb. Parce que vous pensez qu\u2019avec leur esprit tordu, ils n\u2019auraient compris que \u00aberrouman\u00bb, le fruit de saison le moins cher en ce moment, derri\u00e8re le cri hyst\u00e9rique de mon \u00e9pouse, vocif\u00e9rant en fran\u00e7ais \u2014 za\u00e2ma pour rendre encore plus jalouses les autres femmes de l\u2019immeuble \u2014 \u00abgrenaaaades\u00bb ? Que nenni ! Voisines et voisins, ils sont comme Facebook et les autres r\u00e9seaux sociaux en ce moment, tous en mode \u00abalgorithmes\u00bb ! Leurs oreilles ont capt\u00e9 \u00abgrenades\u00bb et leurs bouches vont cafter \u00abboumba !\u00bb. Oui, je sais que je vis en D\u00e9z\u00e9die, qu\u2019il n\u2019y r\u00e8gne pas ce climat d\u00e9testable qui rend la vie impossible aux n\u00f4tres install\u00e9s en Europe et aux Am\u00e9riques. Mais tout de m\u00eame ! J\u2019ai quelques sp\u00e9cimens dans cette barre d\u2019immeuble de cette portion d\u2019Alg\u00e9rie o\u00f9 je vis que \u00e7a n\u2019emb\u00eaterait pas trop de me signaler en r\u00e9seaux. Des fois que \u00e7a les aiderait dans leurs d\u00e9marches de visas, va savoir ! Et l\u00e0, entre-temps, apr\u00e8s sa d\u00e9j\u00e0 grosse bourde, tu crois qu\u2019elle va se calmer, ma femme lorsque, \u00e0 mi-chemin vers le rez-de-chauss\u00e9e, sur le palier du 2e, je me penche dans le vide, la zieute avec mon regard le plus macho et m\u00e9chant-DZ et lui fait signe de la mettre en sourdine, mon index sur mes l\u00e8vres et qu\u2019ensuite, avec mon point ferm\u00e9, coll\u00e9 au niveau de mon oreille, je lui signifie qu\u2019elle n\u2019a qu\u2019\u00e0 m\u2019appeler au t\u00e9l\u00e9phone si elle veut me parler ? C\u2019est mal la conna\u00eetre ! Rien, la bougresse ! \u00abChah\u2019net\u00bb ! Elle est repartie plus fort dans les octaves : \u00abJustement, ch\u00e9ri ! \u00c0 propos de mobile, chargili ! Je t\u2019envoie le code !\u00bb \u00c0 partir de l\u00e0, de cet instant pr\u00e9cis, celui de l\u2019amorce entre le palier du 2e \u00e9tage et le niveau z\u00e9ro, co\u00efncidant avec le d\u00e9bit en staccatos, deux \u00e9tages plus haut des mots \u00abmobile\u00bb, \u00abchargili\u00bb et \u00abcode\u00bb, j\u2019\u00e9tais d\u00e9sormais s\u00fbr de tomber nez \u00e0 nez avec l\u2019un des deux porte-avions de l\u2019Oncle Joe, ses canons point\u00e9s juste sur la porte de l\u2019immeuble. Des grenades ? Ah ! Tu veux des grenades, Momone ? Mais je vais t\u2019en planter des grenades, en pot, sur le balcon, ma douce et tendre compagne. Plusieurs grenadiers, au point o\u00f9 nous en sommes. M\u00eame que si tout ton barouf ne suffit pas \u00e0 ameuter la 6e flotte, nous les aiderons \u00e0 mieux nous rep\u00e9rer sur leurs radars, en fumant l\u2019\u00e9corce des grenades sur ce foutu balcon ! La peau de grenades, il para\u00eet que c\u2019est encore mieux que le th\u00e9, yal\u2019 makhlouka !<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px;\"><em><strong>H. L.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>lesoirdalgerie.com Par Hakim Laalam Quand l\u2019Ukraine des r\u00e9giments nazis Azov frappe la Russie, c\u2019est de la r\u00e9sistance. Quand le Hamas combat Isra\u00ebl,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":58,"featured_media":90701,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"video","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-video","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles-en-vedette","category-politique","post_format-post-format-video"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Mom\u00f4ne et le fruit interdit ! - AAH.JZR<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jazairhope.org\/fr\/momone-et-le-fruit-interdit\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mom\u00f4ne et le fruit interdit ! - AAH.JZR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"lesoirdalgerie.com Par Hakim Laalam Quand l\u2019Ukraine des r\u00e9giments nazis Azov frappe la Russie, c\u2019est de la r\u00e9sistance. 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